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ISSN
1943-8133
Volume 2010-07, Issue 1
July 13, 2010
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Welcome to the latest
issue of the Legacy
Journal!
We’re on a mission to inspire
the development of great
legacies in the world, one person at a time. Your interest, help and
feedback are
appreciated! There’s more on our
blog and in the LJ
Archive
— we'd love to have you visit and add your
comments.
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Greetings,
What gives you a great life and
the most happiness? It’s probably the little things. Similarly small things done consistently (and with great love) can turn
into masterful and magnificent things that last and create benefits for
many generations.
But where to start? Maybe by getting back to basics, and
eliminating the clutter and unwanted from your life in all arenas
— environment, workspace, relationships, body, mind and
spirit! Clean out the closets and drawers in you house and
office, and in your head. Put the right foods in and minimize the
stuff you know is not good for you. Get on top of and manage your
finances and taxes the way you really want to. Find what’s
enough, or more than enough for you in a good way, and let go of the
rest. It’s not all yours to take on. You can have everything you want (though you may not be able to have all of it at
once). Decide on your priorities for now, and recognize there is
always more to come. If you can get life designed around
what’s most important to you and most supportive for you, you may
find you have the energy to build something really great and important.
And doing that will give you even more energy for living. It will
allow you to attract really great people to your endeavors, as our
legacy story this issue reveals. And it will give you the
opportunity to decide and plan how you want it all to carry on when you
are ready to let go of it and move to the next realm of your life,
whether on this planet or elsewhere.
Are you ready to get fully conscious about that? Start simply,
and don’t forget to plan for what's ahead ... read on!
Cheers, Dolly
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“Failing to plan is planning to
fail.”
~ Alan
Lakein
“Thinking well to be wise:
planning well, wiser: doing well wisest and best of all.”
~ Malcolm Forbes
“Unnecessary possessions are
unnecessary burdens. If you have them, you have to take care of them!
There is great freedom in simplicity of living. It is those who have
enough but not too much who are the happiest.”
~ Peace
Pilgrim
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The Value of Simplicity
It’s often said that the
simple things in life are its greatest pleasures: sharing a good meal
with family or friends, relaxing in a hammock with a great book, or a
leisurely stroll in a beautiful park. Even studies on happiness reflect that the happiest
people revel in life’s simple pleasures rather than in rewarding
themselves with material goods whatever their income levels or the size
of their portfolios.
Similarly, simplifying, reducing complexity (and chaos) can lead to
greater satisfaction. It provides more space and more breathing room (literally and
figuratively). Why is that? Maybe, simply put, it’s because we have fewer
distractions and fewer things pulling us in multiple directions.
It’s often the simple things that most get in the way, too. Two
of them are what we call in the coaching profession our
“incompletions” and “tolerations.” Just
like our needs and values – which when fully recognized we can
effectively address — these simple annoyances are unique to us.
So we’re the only ones who can do much about them.
And like most things, the first step is simply developing awareness of
them. So what are they?
Incompletions
are essentially our personal business that is unfinished, or that is
finished improperly or in an unsatisfying manner. Instead of
walking away feeling great, and being able to truly celebrate,
these things continue to consume personal energy on some level.
Sometimes, at a very small or simple level, but those nagging items can
add up to significant disruption because the energy drain continues
even when we are not thinking of the incompletion consciously.
Something that is incomplete is not just something planned and yet
unfinished; it is also something finished but yet unresolved. It's like
a seam that was poorly sewn in a garment sent to the retail store
and sold to an unsuspecting customer. The garment was finished,
just not well. That incompletion will show up quickly upon the
first or subsequent washings of the garment. It may have looked
finished and have been sold as finished, but in fact, it was
incomplete. And you may have been meaning to return it to the store for
an exchange having discovered the flaw, but the garment is still hanging there
in your closet where it catches your attention (and a bit of your energy) every time you see it.
This same experience can be true of relationships, work
projects, any area of life.
When you finish/end something, it may still not be complete. You
know if something is incomplete because you think about it more often than is comfortable.
In fact, much of what we think about are things that we are incomplete
about. It's the mind's way of reminding us to get complete.
Examples: incompletions may be as simple as the dent in your car
you’ve been meaning to fix; that pile of file of financial
records you put together that has yet to be delivered to your CPA; a
craft project in the closet you finished but never hung up where you
planned to display it; or that continuing education program you took,
but never followed through on implementing the great epiphanies you had
that are sitting in your class notes.
And a toleration?
Simply, it is anything you perceive as negatively impacting your
life. Tolerations are things we put up with that don’t give
us a good quality of life. As such, they too, are energy
drains. They may seem or actually be big things, but more often
they are also a collection of small niggling things that you’ve
decided to avoid consciously or that have you’re your conscious
focus but are nonetheless “under there.”
Incompletions may be a form of toleration. Again, yours will be
different from anyone else’s, and even if they seem small or
nit-picky, if they bother you ... well, they bother you. And
they keep you from great things.
To tolerate means to compromise one’s values, boundaries, and
standards for some reason. Yes, the world is constantly changing, and
we may need to adjust to new situations, problems and opportunities,
some of which may be uncomfortable because they call for us to grow and
change. When we decide to adjust to those changes and make a plan of
action, it is a choice. Tolerations, on the other hand are a
reaction or a resignation and we often feel “at the effect”
of them, rather than in charge or on top of things. Here's a list
of 1001 Tolerations from Coachville — see if any of them apply to you.
Think about what you simply put up with — a situation or aspect
of a relationship you known in your heart is not good for you. It may
not be a big thing. It might be undone dishes, something broken that
needs to be fixed or replaced, car that needs cleaning or an oil
change, that pile of papers on your desk that needs to be sorted, filed
or pitched. You may be tolerating something in a relationship
where you need to set a clear boundary.
Incompletions and tolerations may not be good for us, but they do give us a guaranteed
focus — even though it may be a negative one. That focus
will get us through the day, but it may also require a great deal of
caffeine, upset, complaining, nagging or some other energy draining
behavior. So much more can be accomplished of the things that
really matter when we are not in that state, but in a more positive,
hopeful, optimistic one. Addressing these energy drains raises our
standards and improves the quality of life. The resulting energy
gain can be used in more productive ways.
Incompletions and tolerations stop us from getting to the things we
truly want in life, or at least we say we want. When our minds
are focused on these things to eliminate, they sometimes drive
everything else and prevent us from getting to that we say we really
want.
So what’s the best way to eliminate what is incomplete or what we
are merely tolerating? Simply put, it’s to confront them head on,
remembering that the simplest definition of confront is “to face
easily and directly.”
Start with directly, since as we all know simple is not always that
easy.
Make a list of 10 incompletions and 10 tolerations (keep going until
you have 100 of each if you like — you may find once you start
there are a LOT more than you realize). Then start knocking them
off one by one — put a checkmark and a little smiley face next to
each one when it’s been fully addressed.
Want to up the ante? Employ the “Easy-Hard Paradox”
— it makes hard a little easier to deal with. A paradox is
a seemingly contradictory statement that may nonetheless be true.
The Easy-Hard Paradox goes like this: “when you do
what’s easy, it will get hard; and when you do what’s hard,
it will get easy.”
It’s like procrastination (often associated with incompletions
and tolerations ...) — continue to put off something you
need to address and it can become so large and overwhelming as to cause
paralysis! Apply the paradox to your list like this: review
it and find the one or two things you resist the most in each category. Make a point to address those first.
Somehow confronting what is hard first often
serendipitously allows the easier ones to take care of themselves ...
What’s
in the way of doing greater things in your life – creating a
truly magnificent life (like the one nature reminds us of)
or perhaps creating that amazing legacy project you dream about
but think is too big for you to handle? You might be surprised
what you’re capable of when you get some of the simpler things
out of the way. Try this coaching tip and then let us know how we
might help you!
(DMG)
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Masterful Synthesizer, Masterful
Mobilizer
During the past 20+ years, conversations
about the origins and foundations of the coaching profession have taken
place in small and large gatherings. Very thoughtful people who were
involved in the early self-awareness/human potential movement and the
earliest coach training programs have shared their memories and written
books about coaching theory and practice. In particular, we now
have the well researched, 693-page doctoral dissertation from Vikki Brock, Ph.D.,
EMBA, MCC, entitled “Grounded
Theory of the Roots and Emergence of Coaching,” officially
completed and published in 2008. Brock is a coach who understands the
value of legacy and in this work has left humankind a great one.
Even with all the interviews, research,
documentation, books and vivid memories of hundreds of living coaches,
Thomas J. Leonard stands out as one of the brilliant pioneers
who both popularized and commercialized coaching. Coaches regularly talk
about his influence on and within the emerging profession — one
focused on helping others be both at choice and their best in any realm
or endeavor.
Leonard was a fascinating character and
genius of a man, who could be highly collaborative and equally
competitive at times. He could be very stubborn, frequently demanding
to have his own way or go off to create his own programs and
organizations. In his later years, Leonard demonstrated both prolific,
generative brilliance alternating with depression and bouts of isolation. His life and work were an example of how exceptional abilities that can flow from personal challenges.
A financial planner by background, Leonard
had a powerful vision for life design and planning that would emerge as
coach training, coaching business and coaching organizations. His
ability to assimilate and simplify the most complex concepts along with
his marketing and media savvy helped create the coaching industry.
When we think of CoachU, the International Coach Federation,
Coachville and the International
Association of Coaches, we recognize Leonard's vision
behind them. He was a synthesizer of ideas, the creator/developer of
his own businesses who also launched organizations for others. He was
stunningly systematic and organized to build all this during his too
short lifetime. He knew the direction he was headed and even stated
that all his legal affairs were in place. He did have a will that was
written when he was in his thirties.
And yet, for all his ideas, designing,
creating, planning and implementing, he neglected one extremely
important step for the enduring benefit and completion of his
extraordinary legacy: Thomas died suddenly at age 47 without an
updated estate plan, defined succession plan or outlined exit-plan. He
did not clearly delineate either the people to receive his companies or
the process by which that would be determined. Truly a "cobbler’s
children have no shoes” example for this man with a planning
background, it is a focus too often “left until tomorrow”
by too many of us — and that can limit the ultimate the impact of
one’s life and work for the greater good.
Many people were shocked and saddened to
lose Thomas Leonard. The sudden void created by his death, along with the
confusion, chaos and grief associated with settling his complex estate
caused additional pain and years of disruption between his family and
colleagues. There are profound lessons and reminders for us here
— and an important part of legacy development.
It’s never too early to have the conversation about your wants
and desires for all you have created in business, in life. This is an
important part of life and a gift to your family, friends, colleagues
at the time of your worldly demise; and these activities ultimately
define the shape the impact of your life and work can have.
Do we actively avoid issues that
cause us to reflect on the finite nature of our own lives? Or are we just so caught up in the day to day, the dramas or
enjoyment of life, or juggling too much to stop long enough to consider
what our personal, long-term impacts might be ... want we
consciously want them to be?
Thomas Leonard’s legacy has been a
profound one because of his creative and attractive genius. We
can only wonder how it would be playing out now if his creations had
not been mired in complication and confusion in the time after his
passing. Fortunately, he had committed collaborators willing to
breathe life back into them, like his incredible friend Dave Buck and
the amazing Susan Austin and Andrea J. Lee who have helped continue the
work.
What are
the full life planning conversations you’ve had, or not? What
impact do you truly want to have with your life, in your various
relationships, with your business, or your worldly possessions? What
sort of legacy or legacy project might that all combine to create, if
you consciously explored it?
When might you get to that? Check this out to help you get going with it …
(EBC)
----------------------------------------
Send us an e-mail about someone you know who is
living or building a legacy. We’d love to feature their story.
Maybe it’s you?!
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Want to Know More About Coaching -
And Whether It's Right For You?
Click here to download a copy of our free report
“About Coaching & Coachability Profile.” It will give you the info you need
to decide. Check out some of out other great programs on that
page, too. You may find something there to help you get started ...
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CREATING LEGACY STUDIO
Every 1st and 3rd Wednesday of the month at 10a PT / 1p ET, join
us online at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/legacy!
Call in during the live show at (347) 850-1633 - or from the
web page, click on the green Chat Now! button to ask questions or
make comments.
- The Studio
is your opportunity to explore the concepts of legacy in your own
life, work or business. We focus on how to take practical action
to get a full life and fulfilling work, give your best gifts
— and make a significant positive difference in an enduring way
that brings you great joy.
(Come on, you know you want to change the world ...)
- If
you miss the live show, you can listen to the recording on the
Creating Legacy Studio page on BTR. Download past shows in& mp3
format for listening in your preferred player.
- See
more info about the Studio on the Creating Legacy Network website,
where we post the updated schedule and call in information.&
- Tune in, turn on and take part!

OVERCOMING UNDEREARNING® &
ACHIEVING FINANCIAL MASTERY
There
is still time to register, but do it today - class starts this
Thursday!!
Not ready to create your legacy? Maybe you're ready for our newest
program: A 5 Step Plan To A Richer Life! - based on the
fabulous book by Barbara Stanny.
Wealth is not what
you make, it’s what you keep ... and how wisely you spend.
Financial Mastery is
what leads to Financial Independence — where you can separate
your ‘business’ from your ‘profession,’ and do
work you love whether or not it provides you an income. That definitely
gives you the freedom to develop a legacy project and live a
magnificent life.
During this 5 week
teleseminar you will:
- Learn how to dig
deeper to uncover the blocks & barriers that are keeping you from
reaching your goals
- Engage in
intimate and eye-opening discussions with plenty of time for questions
- Come away with a
personal action plan for earning the money you deserve
- Have a lot more
fun in the process than you ever imagined.
- Leave with new resources to support you
in creating real wealth — after all, that’s what also
allows you to make a greater contribution in the world ...
DATES: July 15 – August 12, 2010
TIME: 11a-noon PT / 2-3p ET (what better to do with your lunch hour?!)
5 Sessions – THURSDAYS: 7/15, 7/22, 7/29, 8/5 and 8/12
Summer Special Registration Fee is only $127 (regularly $199)
Learn
more and register here!
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Dolly
M. Garlo, RN, JD, PCC, Editor of the Legacy Journal is the
Founder & Creative Partner of Creating Legacy™ — a
program devoted to empowering business owners and entrepreneurially
minded professionals make their positive impact in the world —
with joy and meaning. For 30 + years she has supported
clients in many different arenas — healthcare, law and business.
Her current focus is helping clients with business and strategic
marketing design, social enterprise development, professional career
transition, and leadership for enlightened business owners and social
entrepreneurs.
Eliza Crouch,
RPT, PA-C, CPCC, is Creating Legacy’s Development Partner, a life
coach and community developer with a background in physical therapy,
primary care, surgery and rehabilitation medicine. After 25 years of
experience developing client-focused, team medicine models to deliver
healthcare services, she began using coaching skills and models to
enhance and improve client-family-healthcare provider interaction. She
now works with teens, young adults, physicians, emerging and
established leaders in diverse professions and organizations, with a
strong interest in enhancing intergenerational collaboration.
Is it time for you to design your work and create an exceptional life
so both reflect your personal integrity and values, greatest level of
wellness, highest and best contribution, and individual sense of
abundance — for which you can feel exceedingly fulfilled
and grateful? We believe these are the keys to true, lasting
satisfaction and happiness from which you can also "make a positive
difference that lasts for generations."
And we look forward to getting to know you.
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You
may absolutely share this newsletter with people you think may enjoy
it. When doing so, please forward it in its entirety, including our
contact and copyright information.
We’d
appreciate it!
The
Legacy Journal newsletter is published by Dolly M. Garlo. Please send
inquiries and comments to: Dolly@CreatingLegacy.com
~ www.CreatingLegacyNetwork.com
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