GIFTS THAT REFLECT

    In most religious and other traditions, there is a winter celebration.  Many of them include gatherings, celebrations and gift giving.  The latter has been overwhelmed by commercialization this time of year.  So this issue of the iJournal is about how to emphasize the essence of gift giving, instead of just spending money.  For some, the latter is in shorter supply lately, so a different focus this season may be a gift in itself. ('Hope so!)

    Let's start with the definition of "gift" -- of which there are principally two:  (1) Something that is bestowed voluntarily and without compensation, and (2) a talent, endowment, aptitude, or inclination.  We typically think of the first one.  Think about how you might creatively include more of a reflection of the second definition.

     To go that route, consider one's own talents or inclinations, or those of someone else.  Many of us want for very little in the way of material goods.  As adults, and in a society that does not exactly encourage delayed gratification, when we need or even just want  something and can afford it, we typically buy it ourselves -- without waiting for an occasion or a beneficent white-bearded character to slip down our chimney with it.  (All too many buy it whether they can afford it or not, creating debt possibly with little value).  While receiving a physical token of someone's affection can be nice, there are possibilities that may be even more meaningful:  

~ Noticing.  This is the gift I have asked for this year from my husband.  Since I cannot even think of any material goods that I really want or need, and since we have spent a lot this year on some home remodeling that we are already enjoying, AND since I seem to spend more and more time trying to figure out how to clear out "stuff" from my space than on what I next want to acquire, I have asked him simply to notice.  What?  Well, notice me for who I really am and then design and plan an experience I would really enjoy, write it down and "present" it to me.  He doesn't even have to actually execute the plan.  I will enjoy most knowing he spent time thinking about me, considering what I enjoy, and planning something that he thinks would really tickle my fancy.  While this sounds simple enough, and doesn't cost anything monetarily, my guess is this will take considerably more energy than would a trip to the shopping mall.  It actually may be more enjoyable for the giver as well, considering that a trip to the mall is not high on many people's activity lists.

~ Events.  The above example points out another possibility outside the material goods realm.  That is, to design and actually deliver an experience in which the receiver participates.  This could include things as simple as making a special candlelight dinner, or giving a massage in a dimly lit room with their favorite music playing; taking someone ice-skating or on a picnic (even in the snow) - something that creates a wonderful memory rather than something new to catch dust on a shelf or fill up space in a drawer.  One of the most memorable and favorite gifts I ever received was a day of cross-country skiing in the mountains during which we had a small picnic complete with homemade shortbread cookies made into ornaments we used to decorate a small pine tree and leave for the birds and animals to eat.  Events can truly be the ultimate "feel good" gift that lasts a lifetime.

 ~ Charitable gifts.  Giving something to others in someone's name is another possibility.  I have a friend who is an eye surgeon.  She often makes a charitable donation in someone's name to the eye bank or other charities that support those in need who cannot otherwise afford to pay for the glasses, cataract removal or similar procedure they may need.  What a joy it is to know that in my name, someone else will benefit in ways far more valuable than I would from another pair of earrings, a new sweater, or a bottle of wine.  Warming the heart and another person's life in the name of someone you care about can demonstrate the true meaning of gift giving, especially when the gift reflects the particular interests of the giver or receiver.  Care should be taken to find a reputable charity.  One source is the December issue of Worth magazine, which has made its article on its top 100 list of the nonprofits making the biggest impact ("To Give Well, Give Wisely") available online by clicking on this link, or pasting the following address into your browser:

http://www.worth.com/content_articles/display/articles.cfm?id=
%298%2F%2A%21GJ%5F%26%22D%23%27%0A&tid. 

(And see, particularly, the companion article called "How We Chose" for information on how they came up with their list).  You may just find something there that moves you deeply, or would be meaningful to someone you know if the gift was made in their name. 

 INGENUITY GEM:   

Gold really isn't the only thing that glitters.  If you're stuck for a gift idea, or just looking for alternatives that really move you this season, consider giving gifts that reflect your own or another person's interests and passions.  While some may involve spending money, others may cost you little more than time and your own creative ingenuity in developing a well-thought out idea.  And THAT, may be far more valued by the recipient of your efforts.  What other ideas do you have?

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